As a full fledged, full paying member of the Screen Actors Guild, this month I will be voting on the SAG awards. This will be my first year doing so, and folks boy am I excited. Not because I am in any way, shape, form or galaxy close to being up for anything anytime soon (I'm pretty sure the Razzies only do Film, and Film ain't exactly lighting up my phone). Not because I like award shows themselves (although a commercial I was in did air during the Oscars 2 years ago, so Suck it Streep!). I find them remarkably self indulgent, over the top and pompous (unless Gervais is hosting, then it's only slightly less all of those). I am excited, friends, because of the tiny bit of satisfaction I get at feeling like a part of the club.
You see, I start getting these envelopes in the mail. About 9 x 12, Manilla sealed with tape sent from Studios and Production Companies. Some padded some not, containing DVDs and a poster pretty much begging for me to consider voting for their film, their actor or their productions teams. These envelopes are very similar to the countless envelopes I have sent to Agents, Managers, Casting Directos and Producers containing a headshot, begging for an opportunity to join the ranks. It's a small bit of indulgent satisfaction, the feeling I get from controlling a tiny, microscopic stock in their game for prestige and gobs and gobs of money. It's nice. Now the mail isn't just home to the bills, junk, ads that keep pouring in or the far fewer but conversally awesome residual checks. Now I get little presents from the big shots, as they unload millions of dollars into a process that pads both budgets and egos, and at the same time doesn't necesarrily recognize the best work this industry puts out.
It's a weird, confusing game. But I'm glad to have my tiny part in it. So to all the folks with power and shows who send me these DVDs and have made it possible for me to receive them at all by hiring me, my DVD acceptance speach is brief: